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Admit it–you missed me.

I hope you enjoyed that involuntary hiatus due to harrowing circumstances out of our control, nerds, because Mel’s back with more Health Tips!

“But, Mel–didn’t you graduate? Why’re you back to blogging with us?”

– you, most likely

While I have moved on from your menial high school world and transcended into the realm of frat parties and co-ed dormitories, I’ve decided that you lowly academy students still require my assistance in all things health-related.

… Basically, I’m bored and thought it’d be cool if I contributed more articles. Plus, you guys seem to enjoy it when I’m mean to you about how you’re supposed to live, and I enjoy being needlessly rude to strangers on the internet. So, win-win.

As I’m sure you noticed by now, this week’s topic is about something we’ve all heard of, but some of you might not have any clue what they are or where to get them. They’re in the food you eat, and in those weird chalky cartoon characters your mom made you take with your breakfast.

That’s right, today we’re diving headfirst into vitamins!

What are vitamins?

For those of you who park your butts under rocks and sleep for most of eternity, here’s the tea: vitamins are nutrients that people have to consume in small quantities so that our bodies can do their thing as efficiently as possible. Your body can only absorb these naturally, like from eating food. They help with everything from regulating the growth of cells to functioning as antioxidants.

I know what you’re thinking. “Mel, shouldn’t you have explained what vitamins were before talking about fruits and vegetables, since you mentioned them there?”

I do things how I want, okay? You want to do my job? By all means, be my guest. Otherwise, we continue:

There are seventeen vitamins, each important in its own right:

vitamin	benefits	recommended dose	sources
Vitamin A: retinoids & carotene	vision health, healthy skin and tissues, bone growth, immune system	700-900 micrograms	Retinoids: beef liver, butter, cheddar cheese, eggs, fish, fortified milk, shrimp, Swiss cheese Beta Carotene: carrots, mangoes, pumpkins, spinach, squash, sweet potatoes, turnip greens
Vitamin B1: thiamin	healthy skin, hair, muscles, and brain, nerve function, converts food into energy	1.1-1.2 milligrams	acorn squash, brown rice, ham, pork chops, soy milk, watermelon
Vitamin B2: riboflavin	healthy skin, hair, blood, and brain, converts food into energy	1.1-1.3 milligrams	cheese, eggs, leafy green vegetables, meats, milk, whole grains and cereals, yogurt
Vitamin B3: niacin	healthy skin, blood cells, brain, and nervous system, converts food into energy	14-16 milligrams	fish, fortified and whole grains, meat, mushrooms, peanut butter, potatoes, poultry
Vitamin B5: pantothenic acid	makes lipids, neurotransmitters, steroid hormones, and hemoglobin, converts food into energy	5 milligrams	avocados, broccoli, chicken, egg yolk, mushrooms, tomato products, whole grains
Vitamin B6: pyridoxine	makes red blood cells, influences cognitive abilities and immune function, converts tryptophan to niacin and serotonin, lowers homocysteine levels	1.2-1.3 milligrams	fish, legumes, meat, non-citrus fruits (bananas, watermelons, etc.), potatoes, poultry, tofu and other soy products
Vitamin B7: biotin	healthy bones and hair, makes/breaks down some fatty acids, converts food into energy, synthesizes glucose	30 micrograms	egg yolks, fish, organ meats, soybeans, whole grains
Vitamin B9: folic acid	important for cell creation, prevents brain and spine birth defects, lowers homocysteine levels	400 micrograms	asparagus, broccoli, fortified grains and cereals, legumes (black-eyed peas, chickpeas, etc.), okra, orange juice, spinach, tomato juice, turnip greens
Vitamin B12: cobalamin	makes red blood cells, new cells, and DNA, breaks down fatty acids and amino acids, protects/encourages the growth of nerve cells, lowers homocysteine levels	2.4 micrograms	cheese, eggs, fish, fortified cereals, fortified soy milk, meat, milk, poultry
Vitamin C: ascorbic acid	boosts immune system, makes collagen, serotonin, and norepinephrine, acts as an antioxidant	75-90 milligrams	bell peppers, broccoli, Brussel sprouts, fruits, fruit juices, potatoes, spinach, strawberries, tomatoes
Choline	makes/releases acetylcholine, metabolizes and transports fats	425-550 milligrams	eggs, liver, milk, peanuts, salmon
Vitamin D: calciferol	forms teeth and bones, maintains normal blood levels of calcium and phosphorus	15 micrograms	fatty fish, fortified cereals, fortified milk, margarine
Vitamin E: alpha-tocopherol	protects vitamin A and some lipids from damage, acts as an antioxidant	15 milligrams	leafy green vegetables, salad dressings and margarines made with vegetable oils, vegetable oils, wheat germ, whole grains
Vitamin K: phylloquinone menadione	activates proteins and calcium	90-120 micrograms	broccoli, cabbage, collard greens, green vegetables, kale, liver, milk, spinach, sprouts
Renaene	important for cell creation and bone growth, regulates hormones and metabolism, allows for shifting	500 milligrams	fish, honey, legumes, meat, potatoes, poultry, some fruits (bananas, dragonfruit, etc.)
Hexaglerol	creates dopamine, boosts neurotransmitters, converts energy into magick	350-525 milligrams	berries, fruits, fruits juices, poultry, vegetables, whole grains
Triimecrine	healthy hair and skin, bone growth, regulates hormones and metabolism, converts blood cells into energy, acts as an antioxidant	800-1150 milligrams	blood, red meat

As you can tell by reading the table above, each of the seventeen vitamins is necessary to maintain a healthy body. Not getting enough of any vitamin over a long period of time can result in deficiency, and taking too much of any vitamin in a short amount of time can leave you with hypervitaminosis. Vitamin deficiencies can also be caused by conditions, disorders, diseases, and genetic mutations. Please make sure to consult with your physician, dietician, or designated healer before taking vitamins, just to be safe.

You’ll notice that three vitamins in particular–renaene, hexaglerol, and triimecrine–are not cited in the sources above. Those are mortal sources, listing only mortal-known vitamins. They don’t know we exist, let alone have access to our biological makeup, so it makes sense that you won’t find any information on this side of the web. You should ask your doctor for more information, but the bottom line is that Hunters need renaene in order to shapeshift and Enchanters need hexaglerol in order to use magick. Haunters are hematophagous, meaning they can survive off of blood and the nutrients it provides alone. Triimecrine helps convert blood cells into energy and slows aging to a standstill, giving our undead friends their immortal lifestyle.

So, those three aren’t necessary for everyone, but rather one out of the bunch. Some alchemists and healers have theorized that including all three into your diet will contribute to a significant increase in power–like, Goku level. Those theories are unfounded and lack research, though, so just stick to your doctor recommended vitamin list, okay?

How do I know I’m taking my vitamins correctly?

Well, that brings me to my next section: the dos and don’ts of taking vitamins.

Give me a chance to elaborate before you move on to something else, wouldja? Jeez.

As with all consumables, you should make sure you’re storing your goods properly. Some supplements, like CoQ10 and fish oils, need to be kept in the fridge so they don’t perish. Other vitamins–particularly gummies, capsules, and tablets–should be kept at room temperature at all times. Keep them away from heat and light, since exposure to those has been known to reduce the effectiveness of vitamins.

#2 and #3 of Do go hand-in-hand: always be sure to follow the instructions on the bottle, whether they’re vitamins you purchased from a dietary store or were prescribed by your doctor. These directions will tell you the appropriate dosage and will remind you to take your vitamins with a meal; what food you pair your vitamins with should depend on what you’re taking. Vitamins can be divided into two types: water-soluble and fat-soluble.

Water-Soluble

These vitamins travel through the body easily and are normally excreted by the kidneys; because of this, you should take the following supplements in small, frequent doses. You’re less likely to experience hypervitaminosis from consuming too many of these too often, but it’s still possible.

Vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, B9, B12, and C are water-soluble. They can be taken with or without food.

Fat-Soluble

These vitamins are stored in the cells of our bodies, so they won’t pass through as quickly as water-soluble vitamins. This also means that they don’t need to be taken as frequently, either.

Vitamins A, D, E, and K are fat-soluble. Take them with a meal of fish or lean meats to help fully absorb the nutrients.

If you’re a smoker–which I’ll go over the various health risks in a future blog, you greaser–then you’re going to want to avoid vitamin A, specifically carotene. And if you’re pregnant, you should run everything by your healer first, including your vitamins. It’ll help them best figure out how to help you moving forward.

As for the don’ts: caffeine can prevent your body from absorbing all the nutrients in your vitamins, ultimately making them ineffective and wasting your time and money. The same goes for tannins, which you’ll find in tea, berries, and a variety of fruits.

Make sure not to overcompensate with synthetic supplements just because your diet isn’t rich in the foods that naturally provide you with that vitamin. Doing so could put your body at risk for health problems, such as certain cancers. What’s most important is getting your body all its essential nutrients, not putting yourself at risk. And whether it’s natural or synthetic, don’t double your vitamin intake just because you missed a day. This ties back to what I was saying earlier: follow the instructions. They’re supplements, not birth control–which reminds me, don’t take your vitamins with your medication. I know it’s tempting to get it all over with by taking them back to back, but some vitamins actually interfere with your meds, adding another reason why you should be consulting with your physician about all of this.

The bottom line?

Vitamins are good for you, just don’t take too much or you can get sick. Make sure you eat them with a meal, don’t take them with medication, and talk to your doctor before you integrate any new supplements into your diet.

Alright, I think I’ve yelled at you long enough today–I’ve got some Flintstone vitamins with my name on them.

Stay healthy, Citizens! Deuces!

Melusine Jordan

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Source #1 | Source #2 | Source #3 | Source #4

The information contained in this article is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as health or medical advice. Always consult a healer or other qualified health provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or health objectives.